SHAKE THE WORLDS I ENTER
WRITTEN BY: BROOKS
PHOTOGRAPHY BY: SOPHIE HUR
We didn’t have cable growing up, so my brother and I religiously rented tapes from the library and Hollywood Video. Sometimes I couldn’t always shake the worlds I’d entered with those tapes, and I remember one Batman Beyond episode that stayed with me.
In a recurring dream, my classmates and I would blissfully run to the playground during recess. The glee would last mere moments. Suddenly, each of them would break out into uncontrollable laughter, their faces twisted and pupils dilated. One by one, my classmates would surround me, backing me further and further into a corner against a brick wall, until there was absolutely no way to escape. The Joker would then appear, part the crowd, and slowly approach me with what seemed like a deathwish. And as he would reach me, I’d wake up. Every time.
I can’t quite put my finder on why I remember this dream so vividly, seventeen years later, but I always wonder if it has to do with the genetic disorder I was born with, which seemed to mark my identity as different from other kids. Perhaps I wanted to play the role of Batman, the alienated superhero, but I could never even save myself.
I COULD SEE FOR MILES AND MILES
WRITTEN BY LENNOX
I was going to visit a friend in jail. I remembered, while dreaming, that I had gone to visit them before. Instead of seeing my friend, I would up on the roof of the prison. I could see for miles and miles. It was sunny outside and warm. There was green grass just beyond the prison walls.
I remember feeling that the whole situation was wrong, but in that dreaminess of it all I couldn’t place why. I woke up an hour after my alarm was set to go off, feeling discombobulated and concerned. I think I wrote the dream down because it was such a significant articulation of the prison industrial complex. Nothing felt quite right that next day.
The first dream I ever remembered, I thought was my first memory. It was recurring & I was at a beach in New York & I felt my mother’s presence & heard the sound of dolphins, & remember this golden light like a halo all around us, the distinct sound of waves crashing & the smell of sea & cool air, salt water spraying. The strange thing about this dream was that my mother passed away 13 days after I was born in Indonesia, we never made it to New York together.
I thought it had happened in real life, so when I was a child, and I would tell my family about this, they’d say it wasn’t real. For so much of my life I thought this dream was my first memory but when I learned of my mother’s death I realized it couldn’t have happened in real life. I still have trouble understanding the meaning of the dream, why it happened & why it still stands out so vividly in my memory.
Waves crashing and the smell of sea
Written by Indra
Photographer — Brooke Ashley Barone
Nightspace & indra
My pace fell, my steps getting slower. Was I nervous? Was I afraid? My curiosity overcame. I was outside one of the rooms, looking in. I stood there, still. The door was opening. A hospital bed and the lights were off. There was something under the covers. A torso rose. A shadow, dark like a shadow. No face but red eyes like daggers. Our eyes met. I knew I’d see it if I stopped. I got to the window, climbed onto the tree and flew away.
window at the end, and leaves behind the glass
Written by Nightspace
I found myself in a hallway, it was a hospital. I was alone and conscious, a lucid dream. Stark, white, a feeling of emptiness. Fluorescent lights and maybe they were flickering. There were equal doors on both sides, each other’s mirror. A window at the end and leaves behind the glass. I stepped quietly down the hall. Cautious. Self aware. What as this impending feeling? I approached the window, as I walked past the doors they opened in my periphery. The rooms were dark and I didn't want to see anything. The hallway was narrow.
I was in a medieval town.
Everything was based on gender assigned at birth, either male or female.
Being transgender, my life in this town was hard and complicated.
Everyone was assigned a partner that they were forced to be with and could not separate from.
When assigned to each other, you had to demonstrate your love and affection physically, in an auditorium filled with people.
I was arranged with the King’s daughter; we got notice that we were assigned to each other two weeks before the “show.”
We decided to meet each other before.
You were not suppose to do this, but we didn’t care.
We met and ended up falling in love.
She knew that the day of the show everyone would find out that I was transgender, and her father would order me to be executed.
So we made plans to run away on the day of the show.
But before we had the chance, we were called to the auditorium.
We knew this was the end of our time together.
In the auditorium, things escalated quickly and the next thing I knew my pants were off and then I woke up…